What the Hell Am I Doing Here?

Shortly before Halloween 2017, I took a little bit of video in midtown Manhattan near Macy’s and Herald Square, right on the border of Koreatown.  It was a crowded rush-hour time of day on a Friday.

I set the short video to a Scala & Kolacny Brothers choral version of the Radiohead song “Creep.” These lyrics have layers of meaning, both personally (to me) and generally (to the images they accompany).

New York City’s crush of people and bustle of activity has a way of inspiring thoughts of wondering “what the hell” one is doing (assuming one stops long enough to consider it).  Then a couple of months after I took this video, I spent a day in the city with a visiting friend who repeated how “this city did not want” them here. It got me thinking.

Looking at anonymous faces in the crowd, one wonders if some of them are thinking “I wish I was special,” or maybe just what the hell they are doing here.

Perhaps the lyrics will have meaning to the reader as well.

Below are the lyrics to the song, in case a reader wishes to follow along.

“When you were here before
Couldn’t look you in the eye
You’re just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
You’re so fuckin’ special
But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.
I don’t care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I’m not around
You’re so fuckin’ special
I wish I was special
But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.”


About Traveler

"For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go.”
This entry was posted in Manhattan, New York City, video and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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